The arrival of our son. (VERY LONG)

Michael’s birth story
10^th September 2011.
Nottingham city Hospital.

Thursday 8^th September

Went and got my hair cut and popped to a friend’s. had a real sense of needing to get a few things sorted and went to the banks and to get a present for my Reiki teacher. I remember sitting at my friend’s and thinking god, I don’t think I can do this for another two weeks, I’m ready now. I had some fairly regular contractions for about an hour or so, that felt different to Braxton hicks – but then stopped.

Friday 9^th September.
Took Hannah to magical movers and then to the library. We also spent the morning having a massive tidy round and picking stuff up off the floor. We also went and posted bits and I took her to buy a little teddy for wavy baby that I had been saying we could do so she could bring it to the hospital. I suddenly really wanted to eat carby food so got sausage and chips at the chipper and was so hungry could barely wait to get in front door. Managed to make Hannah her lunch and then ate about as much food as I could fit in. I felt completely exhausted and when Hannah went for her nap, I went flat out on the sofa and woke up an hour and a half later. I felt much better for the sleep and lots of food but it is fairly unusual of me to go to sleep without thinking about it especially in the afternoon.
That night Dave went to bed early as he was tired from being up on Thursday night with Hannah, and me tossing and turning. I’d had some fairly regular contractions for about an hour or so, that felt different to Braxton hicks – but then stopped.
I sat and finished off a book and then had a look on line at baby centre, and read about early signs of labour.
I spent most of the night tossing and turning and feeling really uncomfortable and tight and wondered if I could manage it for another two weeks.

Saturday 10^th September.

Woke up to a pop and a gushing feeling at 6:45. Managed to hot foot it round the bed and get to the toilet as quickly as I could. By which point I knew it was my waters. Thankfully we had put the waterproof protective sheet on the bed – but only just a few nights before. I rang the hospital who said to have breakfast and sort childcare out, and come in when ready because of the previous csection and group b strep, requiring antibiotics. But I had no problem doing that because I knew that once I was there I would be able to get into my zone and relax. So I rang mum and dad, who set off, and rang our neighbours as I knew they were up, and they said they could have her until mum and dad appeared. They were going to soft play anyway so an extra one wasn’t a hastle.
We left for the hospital just after 8, by which time I had had started having regular contractions.
When we went in to the labour suite, we were shown to a room by Bernie who was with us for the majority of the shift. It took a while to get going but we soon had the antibiotics while they were doing the monitoring. This needed doing initially to see where we were at with baby and check all was ok. Unfortunately the only position we could get a trace in was on the bed, anything else would lose the heart beat – even though we tried every possible way. By now I was still losing good bits of waters, and also having stronger contractions. So I put on the green top id got to labour on, and put the tens machine on so I could get to grips with it.  While we were waiting, we thought we would try the ‘kiss’ that is alleged to get contractions moving – it definitely got them moving, so I can highly recommend it.
Once all the antibiotics were done and the monitoring was satisfactory, I got off the bed and went for walk round the room as I was waiting for them to bring other things down. I used the yoga camel walk and scooping walk and found it really helped, it definitely made a change to the contractions. When they bought the mat down, we put the mindful mamma cd on, and after that I just have memories of being really chilled out and going with the feelings and sensations. That really helped me get into the zone and again , noticed a difference in contractions stepping up as I was relaxing into the cd. I ended up on the mat using the cat poses and lizard as it just felt comfortable and helpful. Dave then put on the beach sounds and i found that it really helped with improving contractions, helped again by Dave stroking my hair for a while, which was my anchor. While I was still on the floor in child’s pose, I was under my blanket, hiding – in my own little world and found it all rather fabulous that I could just be there and feel the contractions that were bringing baby along. I gave myself regular Reiki, using the symbols and every time, I got a lot of movement from baby and then a stronger contraction. After a while I wanted to move so I had a walk around again and moved to sit on the ball leaning on my pillow on the bed. I carried on with the beach sounds and dave stroking my hair. We also got the photos out of my special memories, and that definitely made a big difference – sitting looking at them just made my heart feel full. Shortly after that I found that as well as tens I needed to use the golden thread breath which really helped me concentrate on taking the right breaths. I felt quite spacy from the extra breathing and definitely relaxed. It sounds odd probably to most, but I wasn’t bothered – if anything I was enjoying it, which I am sure is why then helped the contractions get stronger again and I found that I needed to hum my way through the out breaths to help – gave me something really great to concentrate on but felt quite meditative under my blanket, with beach noises and nice head strokes. I carried on with this for a while and then we put on the music cd. Again, adding this into the mix, rocking on the ball and humming really seemed to help. The cd of tracks really helped with the endorphin feeling, making me think of good times, people and looking forward to meeting our bump and being a family of 4. It made me feel rather full up and happy and just excited about baby coming and being in the world. Then it made me have some happy tears – but it all helped with the contractions.

I had no idea what the time was as thankfully there had been no clock in the room when we got there. it all felt like it was going well – and after more antibiotics into my hand which was done with me barely noticing- and some monitoring, they agreed I could have a bath. It was definitely a good thing to do, and I really enjoyed the sensations of the water. Even when they put more cold in as it was too hot, that felt right too. Dave kept stroking my hair, and I could tell that the contractions were stronger, and I was having to hum for longer and louder.
And then suddenly I wanted to get out of the bath. I went from feeling really relaxed to just needing to get out but even getting out of the bath was hard. I must have had about 8 contractions before I could get out and back to the room, and I found them increasingly hard to deal with. We put the tens machine back on which helped, but somehow it felt different, I definitely didn’t feel relaxed and was becoming aware of it not feeling right.
I didn’t know what position I wanted to be in but settled on being on the mat with the yoga ball to lean on and rock with. It all changed a lot and the tens machine wasn’t helping and I found I just could not breath through the contractions. It felt like something was wrong. In my head, I was saying ‘trust that intuition’ which was something two of my yoga friends had said in the previous few days. It was definitely a different sensation, and instead of being a pleasure to experience the sensations of labour, it was really  a proper pain, that somehow I felt familiar with. The tens made it feel worse, and I went from being in a happy, chilled out place to feeling completely spaced out and unable to comprehend what anyone was saying to me. All I was aware of was feeling in total agony and just that nothing was helping. Gas and air just made it feel floatier still and totally out of control.

Dave went out of the room with the mw to have a discussion while I was being monitored and those few contractions on my own were murder. Apparently I ripped the monitoring belts off, I was convinced that they were causing the major back pain I was now experiencing. Pain was definitely a new word in my vocabulary of labour, it hadn’t been the experience at all up til then– and my head was ringing bells that I was too spaced out to hear.
I later found out from Dave, that I had dilated really quickly from 3-8 cm – I was 3 at 12pm and was at 8 by 5 so had all been looking good – but then I had got to 8.5 and not moved, and they were starting to get a bit concerned by the fact I had changed from being calm and coping to wild and out of control. I also didn’t know at the time, that when I had got off the bed in a strop, I had lost a large amount of blood, and they were worried about this because even though baby appeared to be well and coping, they couldn’t tell where it had come from. Apparently there were several doctors in with me, but I had no awareness of any of it. I just remember the ever increasing sensation that this was just not right. I felt like I was being pounded in the back with a heavy wait and that it just hurt too much to think. I knew then that it was wrong, it felt like it had with Hannah for a start – but in my head I was thinking about what we were told ‘pain tells us there is something wrong’. I’d not had the sensation of pain for the majority of the labour, and it suddenly changed, like a switch. That intuition in my head kept knocking until I thought about it. I had this overwhelming sensation that I needed to call it a day and go for the C-section, that there was no point in waiting for more hours to become more exhausted, that the pain was telling me things were wrong somehow. I had to mentally work out somehow whether I was just chickening out or what my reasons were for it –but somehow I knew, this was my attempt, and it had been the attempt I wanted it to be for as long as it had been progressing well.
Again, I later found out that the consultant could not believe I wasn’t asking for more pain relief, and when I agreed to the C-section and epidural, a collective sigh of relief went round the room.
Initially  they were going to get me a spinal and take me to theatre – but then there were some emergencies so theatre was backed up. As baby was ok, and I was ok, they were in no rush. They had hoped that it might allow me to continue to progress, but they found baby’s position was really awkward and hadn’t come down far enough to allow me to fully dilate. I did ask the surgeon if I would be able to have more if I had another csection, which apparently they all were rather amused at, given baby 2 was still inside. But it felt really important to make them aware I wanted options to have more. I also had chance to question how they were going to go about preventing the issues I had with healing last time. With it being unrushed, they were able to explain everything, and it was a really relaxed and helpful conversation. I definitely felt well looked after and that time was taken. Debbie had taken over from Bernie at this point and she was just as great and supportive.

 They put only a very small amount of epidural in so I still had some sensation of contractions, but it meant I was able to have calm moments to sit with Dave and prepare myself mentally for knowing baby was going to be there that day, in less than an hour. We carried on listening to the cd, and I just felt relief that I had tried, given baby the best chance but that I had done all I was able to.

I was so much more with it so remember being wheeled a little haphazardly down the corridor to the theatre, and getting a nice welcome from the theatre staff as I was wheeled in. I requested that I was given my antacid before being laid down which made a difference this time and I wasn’t sick. Again, because there was no rush, they were able to take their time in getting me ready, in getting the epidural topped up and the anaesthetist added bare minimum while checking I had no sensation. it really was quite an odd sensation while I could feel them move my legs, I had no recognition of pain or cold. I could feel the surgeon on my belly but there was no pain, just pushing and movement.
Dave suddenly noticed the music that was playing was ‘Doctor Doctor’ and commented on it. Turns out the surgeon likes her rock music so had made a bit of a compilation cd up that included status quo and eventually,  Lynyrd Skynyrd ‘Freebird’ was playing when she was making the final cuts to deliver baby, which seemed pretty fitting. It made for a bit of a light atmosphere and connection also, having two babies who came to see iron maiden in utero, and now the surgeon playing great music, kind of made the day- given I had helloween, bonjovi and pals on my labour cd too.

So at 2147, she pulled baby out, and held him up so that Daddy could see he was most definitely a boy. As I was lying waiting for him to arrive in the outside world, I wondered about names, and it popped into my head that I knew what the name would be. As I heard him crying, and Dave told me it was a boy, I knew we had to use the name Michael. Having spent much of the pregnancy feeling it was hannah’s boy name and telling Dave we could not possibly use it, as soon as I heard him, I knew and when we saw him, and they put him on my chest under the gown, we had to call him Michael. I can’t even explain why, but it sounded like he was Michael, and nothing else. I couldn’t even remember what other names we had looked at. It took a while for them to get me stapled up ( that was a very strange noise when they put them in!) but I had him as much skin to skin on my chest as I could expose. It felt like the perfect moment again, eye to eye, him looking at me and having little shouts, but hushing when I talked to him, like he knew me. The same moment of excitement when Dave told me what we had, and we both cried a lot, tears of pure joy, and that feeling of exploding heart happiness.

After a little bit, I started feeling a bit funny so Dave held him. Apparently my blood pressure went down so I felt a bit sicky and achy. I got quite hot as well so they put a cold pack on my head to try and cool me down. I was really impressed with the anaesthetist who spoke to me all the way through and I generally felt was really calm but really efficient equally.

I had a lot of great people in taking care of me – a very strange moment when I realised one of the theatre nurses was a parent of a child I taught at SMC… but in a way it was nice and I felt like she looked after me well, saw me up to the ward and it just added a nice touch too.

We spent a while in recovery as I had the raised temp – but I felt really well looked after – and it gave me a good time with Dave – as he wasn’t allowed on the ward at that time of night. We also had a good try to get breast feeding going – Michael was sucking really well from the moment he came out, and nearly took the nurses’ finger off. He wanted to go straight on to me so it made life a lot easier when we got up to the ward. We had some lovely skin to skin and again, as we rode through the corridors, I just felt amazing that I had my baby with me.

I was back on Bonington ward, in the same room as I was with Hannah but nearer the window. I felt like the midwives were really welcoming and compassionate, helped me get him latched on and he tried really hard to feed. Obviously there wasn’t a lot there and he was really hungry so at about 4 am they gave him a few mls of formula which allowed us both to sleep for a few hours and then he was able to try again and started getting colostrum from me. It was all so different to last time, I felt way more awake, and so did he – and wanted to suckle which made a huge difference.

It could not have been a more wonderful experience. Admittedly, it would have been preferable to have the delivery   I was trying for – but as labouring experiences go, I feel like it was as I wanted it to be.

The experience of labour was perfect. The things we learned on the mindful mamma course, stood me in such good stead – the cd not only gave me a fabulously relaxed pregnancy but also allowed me to enter into the labouring experience in such a relaxed way and until he turned himself, I was managing so well and so calmly, it was the empowering, emotional, perfect feeling that I knew it could be – which is also how I knew when things had changed.
all the tips and postures I have been using in yoga were great for helping me keep mobile and find that comfortable and relaxed position. Each of the ‘props’ we took, helped improve my contractions, and I can’t recommend the experience more highly. The outcome was perhaps not desirable – but ultimately I have the most handsome baby boy who arrived safely.
As it turned out, the surgeon felt there was no way he was going to come out or move down because he was head back again, and that was why he had not been coming down. The consultants suggested that it was related to the shape of my pelvic bone, that baby got into a certain point and could not move into the right position – how true that is I don’t know – but I’ve given it two goes to deliver and the same thing has happened both times – I think it is fair to say I’ve given it a blooming good go. Oddly though, if it wasn’t for the safety issues, I would still like to labour again if we have another one – I think even just a little while would make a big difference. I think secretly I hope I will go into labour a little early again as they still said they would wait until 39 weeks before going for a planned section.

I can’t fault the way in which all the staff adhered to my birth plan, to the point where they were almost in pain for me. I had no awareness of anything that was going on at the time, they were fully respectful of what I wanted as far as they safely could be – but at no point was I offered any pain relief, or told any information I didn’t want to know. One of the doctors later commented on how detailed and organised my birth plans were – like it was a really positive thing – which it was! I felt totally looked after, that I was treated like an individual and with respect. They just seemed interested in the plan, not at all judgemental and really, really flexible. Again, the information we gathered on the Mindful Mamma course gave us all the tools we needed and gave us the confidence to ask for it.

The real star of the show – was Dave. Not just on the day, but for the last 9 months. Making sure I could rest when I needed to, giving me the opportunity to do the yoga classes – which meant him working late on a Monday so he could leave early on a Tuesday to allow me to get there in time, looking after Hannah so I could have treatments or go to the yoga mornings, and coming with me to all the scans, meetings and courses we needed to. He asked the right questions when we visited the hospital – having clearly listened to my wishes, he remembered several things I had wanted to know but then forgot to ask on the day!  He totally took on board everything he needed to- took over the decision making having known what I wanted, he made sure I had everything I needed, that the staff did what they were meant to and had to hear their concerns and somehow translate it to me without scaring me or ruining the labour. There is no way that I could have done a single moment of my pregnancy or the labour without him essentially carrying me.
It was so freeing during the labour just to be under a blanket and focusing on my baby, while things I needed were sorted out and given to me. He took care to remove the bloody bed mat so I didn’t see how much blood I had lost - despite him hating anything vaguely blood like normally. He took on board everything we learned, asked the right questions and got the right information. Half the time I only had to think of something and he already had it sorted or the questions asked. Once again, he showed his true strength, and for the millionth time, I wonder how I managed to find that person who could be that strong and supportive and could come through for me in all the moments of my life that have needed that support. I know that I could not have imagined a more amazing partner for me – or father for our children and I feel blessed every single day.

So many people also helped and supported us throughout the pregnancy, I feel so lucky.

So many wonderful friends and of course all the 2008 aqua girls who have regularly offered to or looked after Hannah to enable me to go to antenatal classes, and appointments – thus making my life easier but also meaning that Hannah was entertained and not being dragged to the hospital every few weeks. And, ofcourse, our fabby neighbours who had Hannah on the big day, to name but a few times. Also the lovely friends who have passed on pre-loved clothes and all sorts of lovely things they no longer needed. The generosity of spirit and time has blown me away. The Reiki is flowing in your directions, that much is definitely sorted.

In no particular order, the wonderful professionals that supported me.

June @ Caring hands who I had so many Reiki treatments from during the pregnancy, and at Reiki shares also. She also did some EFT with me which helped so much in clearing the shelf of clutter in my head – and giving me the phrases allowed me to accept and recognise that the most important part of all was the safety of both of us. And also made my feet look lovely when Michael was just a few days old.

June @ scents of harmony who gave me lots of delicious reflexology treatments before and post bub, loaned me the lovely bean bag that has been even more of a bonus as a breastfeeding seat. The treatments helped sort out my heartburn and several other less than pleasant side effects of pregnancy, helped me relax in a big way, and most of all helped complete the turn when he was breech- it was quite an energy full moment. Also – loads of really useful tips for healing my wound and other things I just can’t remember but know I found useful.

Sophie @ Mindful Mamma. For her wonderful day, the great information we were given that helped me look at birthing in a whole new light – and allowed me to enjoy a fabulous labour while listening to what my body,and intuition, were telling me. The fabulous relaxation experience of the cd,  throughout pregnancy,  that helped me sleep so well from ten weeks pregnant. I am sure also that the information we gathered help me plan out reasoning to present to the consultant about birth choices.

Holly @ Earth mamma.  For being generally fantastic at going over worries during pregnancy, for offering to do the belly casting – which we sadly never got to do because he came early – and for the amazing hypno session that definitely started the turning process and helped me find a new way to release negative baggage!

Ameet and Hannah @ The yoga home, for a year’s worth of amazing yoga and general preparation for pregnancy, the fabulous yoga during 9 months of pregnancy, and all the tips and knowledge that have helped me develop and deepen my awareness and relaxation- which allowed me to have such a powerful experience of pregnancy and child birth. I also had chance to meet wonderful mummies to be once again and share wonderful –and not so wonderful -pregnancy experiences.

Cathy Warrior – for fabulous aquanatal where I had chance to relax but also help my fitness. It made a massive difference to my physical ability to cope with a toddler, and pregnancy, and generally stay well throughout – very little swelling, and little weight gain. All of which are helping me with the recovery. If I can make it to even a few postnatal sessions, I will be even happier. As well as the physical benefits, it was great to be able to meet the wonderful ladies I shared it with and will hopefully become good friends, if they aren’t already!  

Suzie @ Urban Kneads who provided me with loads of really useful support and info from bras to breast feeding support, confirmed that I was needing to do my hypnobirthing course with Mindful Mamma and introduced me to my reflexologist AND pregnancy pilates with Claire Mockford. 

 1 minute old

 2 days old and having a look at his new home.

 3 weeks old and quite at home.

How wonderful life is now you're in the world....

Just to say that on the 10th September, our beautiful son was born, 10 days early and perfectly well.

It has taken me ages to get back on here, not least due to google changes that have made it a right mare logging into this, and simply time and energy to blog.

I have been thinking of people i know on here - and hope it won't take me so long to get on again.

I've written a huge blog post about my birth experience - that is if anyone wants to read it - as much for my own memories as anyone elses.


I will try and catch up on other people's as soon as possible.

Many thanks and love and reiki blessings to all.

EFT

Well - a short blog because i am just so tired.
29 weeks and defiantely firmly planted in my final trimester, a whole week in, and while i am feeling awesome, i am still feeling tired early on in the evening and hideously acidic - yum...
Things are pretty awesome still - both of my lovely reiki clients have been back to me and both have booked again. I am just thrilled because i can already see how much a difference it has made to them and i am really buzzing over it all.

There are also some amazing unities coming with yoga teachers i know and the universe is pushingus together - the energy and excitement is flowing- which makes me sad because i don't want to rush back into work after the baby and enjoy it incase i decided not to have anymore - but at the same time there is so much amazing energy out there that would be amazing to be part of - i guess i have to trust it will all come together - i think the biggest issue for me is the childcare side of things makes a lot of stuff relatively impossible. Either hugely expensive, the lovely childminder we had is pretty much full, or just there is no one I feel it is fair to ask regularly. I suppose it will come as it needs to. I need to trust that as that worry is kinda taking the fun away.

We have been working on getting the house ready - we have pretty much cleared the room apart from the stuff we are selling on ebay - but we hit ikea on sunday and got fabulous storage - so that has given me the chance to sort stuff out- empty out and free up Hannah's drawers - and feel more organised - not least knowing what i have - once we have touched up the paint work in there, I can start rewashing the nappies and clothes. It is soooo exciting and becoming real.

I also decided to build on my hypnobirthing experiences. I knew that it was making a big difference - but i still had a big list of questions and what if's.
My reiki teacher does loads of therapies and i had kept coming across other people also using one called EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. I figured it would do no harm to try it and would more likely do some good - I had a reiki treatment booked in anyway so asked if I could try it out to start with EFT.
Basically i can't really explain it - the best thing to do is to look at the weblink really http://www.eftuniverse.com/
I just linked to this page because it was the first one that came under google.
Basically it revolves around tapping  serious of points on the body while saying certain phrases that related to releasing a fear, trauma, addiction -anything really.
I discussed a few things with my therapist and then she wrote some statements and we got tapping once gauging my stress levels on the issue to start.
We went round the points and i got to the end and was like mmmm something happened, i can't explain it but there was a sensation of letting go in my abdominal regions but i still had 'yeah but what about' so then we tapped on what i just said - and again it felt like - hmmm - yeah something shifted.
Another bowt of yeah buts.... and we tapped on them.... we must have done about 4 - and bam - i was like you know what - i cannot even remember why i wanted eft. I feel like i somehow dealt with and then shelved those issues- they are things i know about but somehow the EFT action of speaking and tapping releases the emotion - like taking the heat out of it.
I keep describing the idea of having a shelf behind me and that there were just little niggles there that no matter how much i tried to put into practise all those things i learned in hypnobirthing, still keept sticking pins in my subconsious.
I physically feel different - like the energy has shifted, i am no longer experiencing the discomfort - like somehow the discomfort i had was related to holding those fears in, a blockage. and now i can concentrate on building on all thoses positives from the mindful mamma course- things that i knew and that are not being nagged at - it is fab!!!

I feel like i am ready for this birth completley and fully and i need to do now is prepare baby for the next 11 weeks. the rest will just happen as nature intended.

After the session, I had a shorter reiki session but i don't think i have ever gone out of it that quickly or that deeply - when she finished it took me about 5 minutes to come round and i could not move a muscle - i spent most of the afternoon on the sofa as I was totally flattened - it was a fantastic feeling, post spa glow - but important. I am sure it has done me and bub a world of good. Prob less so hannah who got a bit fed up with lazy mummy ;)

The energy is flowing

What an amazing few weeks it has been.
I had two seperate and totally unrelated people contact me for reiki treatments which I did on Friday and saturday and both were amazing.
Friday client seemed to enjoy and said she will contact me on monday to let me know how she got on and hopefully book another one for this friday...
Saturday client  was a very very special and gentle treatment - and as soon as she was finished asked when she could come again. Truly special and amazing.

On Tuesday a friend who runs the birth and fertility network, posted that they were looking for one more treatment for the pamper area at the Nottingham baby fayre this weekend. - To cut a long story short, having thought about it for a while over the last few weeks but not being sure about it, thought I would wait and do it next year. But since it seemed to be calling to me- i rang up and there we go.
I spent weds, thurs, fri and say running around like a mad march hair to get the paperwork, advertising and items i needed - but it has entirely paid off.

Nottingham baby Fayre was designed to be a bump to preschool show with loads of activites for children of all ages, pamper area and goods for parents. The  funds raised from the prize draws and raffle all go to the nottingham neonatal units so that is a really good cause and dear to many mummies hearts whether they have had a baby who needed to use the the unit or not.




I loved the way it was set up - as there were so many activities- and they also had a creche so mummies could come and enjoy a special pamper treatment.

I was lucky enough to treat 4 bumps, 4 mummies and a daddy. All of the treatments were just amazing but the last two just seemed very special and it really felt like there was some special energy going on .
I received some incredible feedback and between all the treatments I have done in the last few days, really feel like i have emersed myself in one of my chosen paths - and come up soaked in success. - like i am ACTUALLY a reiki practitioner, that my treatments really can benefit others, and I can make a bit of a difference to their lvies the way my reiki teacher and lovely yoga teachers - have changed mine. Kind of like paying it forward I think.
Also caught up with several friends, my lovely yoga teachers and generally felt good to be there - one of the best decisions i have been guided to - and think Baby shows are definately the way to go!

Hub bought our DD and she had a whale of a time- bouncy castle, reptile and small animal petting, colouring, a fabulous face paint, music class, yoga class with friend and colleague Jackie from Yoga nutz. £3.50for the ticket in and she got to do all those amazing activities. She was shattered at bed time though.

Well what can i say?
Thank god for the energy ...

Now lets find me a wall to put my big swollen ankles up lol.

Hypnobirthing - not for hippies.

Just read this amazing Blog from Mindful Mamma - basically demystifying the ins and outs of hypnobirthing.

Sharing it everywhere - so many people I have met have partners not interested in trying it out because they think it is too hippyish.

Hopefully sharing this with partners will help.


Mindful Mamma - Hypnobirthing is not for hippies

Universal goodness

I had to miss the fertility and birth network meeting today as I was teaching - but this afternoon I received a phone call from one of my yogic partners in om - and without even being there, I had much much much goodness.
It is all on its way and all really relates to people that I have met up with in the last few weeks - everyone I have met in the last year or so have been leading towards this and it is coming clearer all the time .
I have had sense there is about to be another collision of fantastic energies - just after my first treatment of the miracle reiki mumma when all my plans came into my head.
On monday I had google find me a new client who is coming next week and it all started rumbling then - I can't wait to meet her and see what can happen.

Mindful Mamma day course

Well - last saturday hub and I took ourselves off to a very special day on the Mindful Mamma one day course  in nottingham with Sophie.
I was pretty looking forward to it, having been using the cd regularly for the last 15 weeks -but for Hub the whole concept of it being a small group, and not really having experienced meditation, it was a more daunting prospect.
It was at a lovely house in the very smart park area of nottingham, very close to town yet apparently in a lovely leafy suberb. oh to afford to live there..
Usually there are 4 couples but on this occasion because it was an extra course, there were just three - oddly I had a strange feeling before that i would know someone - and it turned out i did - a reflexologist i keep meeting through the fertility and yoga networks locally. So that was an added bonus but made me realise there are so many things that pull you towards something and when your intuition is saying go for it - which it certainly has been telling me!
Without hugely going into details, it really is the best thing we could have done.
We discussed so many different options for how we can use the hypnobirthing cd, tips to help in the labour - we watched a hypnobirth which was amazing and backs up all the things I have been reading.
Hypno birthing is less about turning you into an out of control zombie - but more about helping you get into a place where you are calm and physically so relaxed that your body can do what it needs to, -it allows you to trust yourself and listen to your body.
It also had lots of preparation for daddy. Lots of questions for him to ask-  and guidance for him to be able to become your advocate as needed - allowing you to be able to be as undisturbed as possible to concentrate and stay in the zone.
We did some amazing relaxations and i could really feel the difference. it was quite amazing the difference. There are tips for us to write our own visualisation together and how we can work together - how he can support me - and anchors he can use such as head stroking - and back rubbing.
WHat i really liked was the idea that labour isn't actually painful. Pain is usually to tell you there is something wrong - but when you are in labour it is a fully natural process that our bodies are made to do. We experience sensations of labour - but because of what we are told by other people and see on tv - we believe it to be pain - they are unfamiliar sensations so we interrpret them on the set of guidelines we have been given. I love that idea - the thought that it isn't going to be painful.
And if I do experience pain, for example as last time, in my lower back because she was back to back - I need to get off my back and on to all fours- again what I wanted to do last time but didn't know how - I have much better ideas of how to work with everything I am given and how to work out getting what I would like. More importantly- Hub also has great ideas on how to get what I need and how to support me. The entire process looks like it is designed for the couples to work together an support each other - for the partner to feel empowered in supporting the mummy to be, and not only will that create a good environment for birthing but also for the future as parents and a couple. I can't wait to go through labour this time - it starts here as we write the visualisation and practise with the cd - which i cannot wait for - I can already tell how my mindset has changed since starting the cd - and since the course I have really gathered new ideas.
We have been gathering endorphine boosting photos - one of the most important things of all is to get that level of endorphine high - and the adrenaline level low as it is the adrenaline that slows everything up.
We chose 5 photos that always make my heart go ping - one of Hannah  a few minutes old, one of her being breastfed, one of her with the scan photos of this baby, one of our wedding day and one of Hannah and my god daughter together on the beach - which is also the same beach i have found myself in for my visualisations.....
Also remembering to take a pillow that smells of home and is a a great idea for comfort - and i also have a fleece blanket that i took with me when I had hannah and I always use it for yoga too.
I figure this time I will do whatever I can - as well as the Active vision, Active birth course at city which is aimed for VBAC births and sounds like it will be great  not least for becoming familiar with the environment again and knowing what equipment is available to use.

I definately feel that we are on the road to an active, calm and mindful birth and the Hypnobirthing - where ever you do it - is really worth the time and input and rehearsals to familarise yourself with it.

Still flying by

I am now 23 weeks and continuing well so far.
I have managed to get back into the aquanatal class again and hope to do at least another 5 before the summer holidays which will all stand me in good stead fitness wise. I went and invested in an ew maternity swim suit today- can't beat decathlon for functionality and price. They aren't pretty suits like you find in the high fashion stores - but since when i am in the pool it is for sport and not lounging, i need good support, not a very low cut top!
I really hope i can get as much in as possible as i feel so much better for doing it, although a little guilty at asking my friends for so many favours. The fact I have so many people I can ask, is down to the fact I did aquanatal last time - and made some amazing friends who are more than happy to have the little miss fora few hours. For that,  I am truly grateful.
Once again there is a nice cross over between yoga and aqua so i feel like i am getting more familiar with other people too. Am sure friendships will happen naturally. It is a bit odd to be the one people are asking information of- and having that information and knowledge to give them! I don't claim to know it all- all i can do is share my experiences and hope it helps someone else. Gave out a few yoga home flyers as well so fingers crossed it will help them get more people in the class- and also that more people will come and get the fab benefits I have had.

I have been looking at my maternity allowance options which looks fairly positive and fingers crossed that means we might have a bit more money than I was expecting - all of which will help in terms of living costs and topping up savings. All i need to do now is send off the form and wait for the letter that says yes you can have it!

Next week is the Hypnobirthing day work shop-  I can't wait to spend that day with hub. The cd has made such a massive difference and I love it. I sincereley feel that it will just take me onto a whole new level of calm.
We have also booked a course at the hospital in August - specifically aimed at VBAC ( virginal birth after cesarean) that basically gives you the chance to access all the items they have that support active labour. I can't wait to get my hands on the stuff and feel ready for this birth, even more than I already do. I am making notes left right and centre - Hub and I have discussed so many options and ideas and he is right on board with me - he knows what I want and I have asked him to give me reminders - I have made up a crib sheet of all the yoga positions I love and that I think will help, and made sure he is as aware of what Things i want - as well as how to ask me gently for yes or no - last time we automatically got a finger flick going so one flick was yes and two was no - i love that we did that without even needing to discuss it and that he knew what I wanted - I have no fear that he is the best 'doula' i could need- I know doulas are so useful in some ways - but I doubt that I could make that relationship with one within a few months, no matter how good they are at their job. I think it is all going to be pretty intense - but I can't wait.

Having read the mindful mamma blog throughout, I came across  a fab bit of info about things that would be good to have in Labour and creating a good environment- he took it right on board - one of the things being special photos to get the endorphines going - i had been considering what I might print, one of which was the first one of us when little miss was a few minutes old - and he suggested that too - that made me cry - that the same thing would mean that much to us and that image always makes both our hearts fill. I also got one of her breast feeding, one of her with my god daughter - and I need to get the disc to print out a wedding photo - the best moments of my life that always make me fill up - more good feelings in that little lot than a sack of endorphines. He has come up with so many suggestions - usually one for cautiousness and saving money, I said i was worried about our pillows getting ruined or lost if I bought one in, he was like well we get a new one - and suggested that I took it straight off the bed whatever day I go into labour. Thinking about it,I do love my bed - and i suspect part of that in the hospital environment will be the familiar smell - i probably won't notice it at home but I bet I will there. So - top of the hospital list for the front door is my pillow, followed by the hypnobirthing cds and camera ;)


My own yoga class is swelling which I am loving a lot. One of little misses friends started but was a bit unsure as she is only two - so my little miss came in to help her- and I have to say even of my own daughter that I was so impressed .It shows so clearly that even when they are not apparently paying attention, everything they experience goes in and comes out when they are ready to use it. 30 months of sharing yoga classes with me and doing yoga at home has clearly been soaked up. She listened so well, was not distracted by the fact I was teaching and joined in fantastically. Even my little two year old newbie did a fantastic job at joining in - just going to show that no age is too early to do yoga. I also have another 2 and a half year old who has been coming since january - she didn't really seem to take all that much in and was very quiet - but in the last few weeks she has really started joining in, and apparently her mother told one of the nursery staff that she was always talking about it at home and joining in -I was so chuffed about that. All these things just back up my intuitions for the last 3 years that yoga for children is the way to go - that it is an amazing gift to give a child, and to help them learn ways to self knowledge, self expression and security that will help them become more balanced - if we teach them it at their most natural learning stage, it quickly becomes part of their everyday skills - just as walking, talking and all the very important life skills they are learning at this stage.

Well that's about it for now.

facebook users favour..

Just wondering if any facebook users would mind adding a vote for my sun shiny toddler to be a cover star of a national free baby magazine.
SUnshiny baby at facebook




If you join the group to like the picture, then please don't unlike the group or it doesn't count. If you are a uk user - it is worth being part of the group as they have some great competitions and give aways for babies.

Many thanks in advance

Lovely reiki - and lovely yoga

Last night I toddled off to a lovely reiki share.
This month was farely quiet, only 9 of us in all.
We started with a lovely meditation so before we even began treating each other, I was already feeling pretty spaced out and chilled.

We worked in two groups, one of 4 and one of 5. I was in the group of 5 and ended up being the last - so i was given the most enormous treat of having 8 people treat me for 15 minutes - so essentially i got 8 times the normal amount of reiki - or 2 hours worth! it was mind blowing and incredible to feel so many people all giving reiki at once - it also made it even better that the chap who was at the foot end is also a reflexologist so I was getting both in one go - and he obviously knew which bits to focus on.
The bump absolutely loved it - the people on my tummy got lots of tickles in their hands, and i felt like it was flying around and tickling away - it was definately awake and loving it - much like hannah did. It will certainly be one chilled out chappy/ chapette.

I was like a zombie when I got in and slept like an absolute log lastnight. it was brilliant and very, very special.

I also taught my yoga class this morning after the easter break - and it was brilliant. I read them Goldilocks and the three bears - and we had a great time being all the characters, acting it out while using different asans that fitted in with the story- it helped that she had her friend dog and duck with her- so gave me a bit of a bonus, They responded so well to it,it was amazing. I think i might use that as a diving board for this term - as it really seemed to capture their imagination - and finished with a great breathing exercise of blowing on the poridge to cool it down - and a honeybee relaxation as they all agreed honey was a nice thing to go on their porridge and fruit.
I now have ten weeks left of teaching them before my insurance runs out in august, and i suppose by september, I will be 37 weeks pregnant and am pretty sure I will not want to be leaping around like a loon.

So - the adventures continue.

Next stages...

.. and time moves on!!!!

Already bumpy has reached the twenty week scan - and we took our little miss with us to see it - she was fascinated with what baby is doing in my tummy, and keeps trying to peer in my belly button.

All is growing well as far as we can see which is good news - and the scan seemed to be really detailed - compared to with hannah - she explained what we were looking at and we felt like we were in there for ages. It certainly gave us all a good time to see baby - who is now nicknamed wavy because of this picture.

I also started the antetnatal yoga again with The Yoga Home. I was fortunate enough to discover Ameet and Hannah during my last pregnancy, and in the last three years have followed every course they offer at appropriate times, as well as also attending classes with Ameet at my local leisure centre - something that was pure fluke but obviously meant to be. I am carrying on with the leisure centre ones - but the preg classes are something special  - really focusing on the bond with the baby inside my bump, and getting my body in shape for birth. Again, having done it all before - i can really tell how each asana is helping each relevent part of my body and my mind too - also a welcome break from tiny toddler.

We have also signed up for the Mindful Mamma - hypnobirthing class in June.I had several people lend me their cds. One i had to turn off half way through as it just felt wrong due to the way the lady was saying baby..... eek never again. I had already seen the mindful mamma flyers around while I was expecting Hannah - but as we had already paid for NCT and the yoga birthing class, we felt there was only so much we could do. Fortunately a friend also loaned me their cd and the first time i listened i knew my instincts on this to be right so am looking forward to not only listening to cds - but getting to spend the time in depth, and to be able to ask the all important questions - the biggest one being - How do i put it into practise when also dealing with contractions! - am sure all will become clear.

I also need to research some good "beach music" - the idea of breathing in time to the sound of breaking waves sits very well - so as well as using the cd could do with some tips - so now on a hunt for a really good one. First stop- my reiki master!!!

We had more consultations with an obstetrician and I was able to ask all the questions i wanted to know. My biggest concerns through both pregnancies were still birth. I know nobody ever wants to go through that, but i just feel that my family and especially us, need no more bad stuff to happen unless it is out of anyone's control - knowing that the UK has a stupidly high rate for such a rich country and that the eastmidlands is one of the worst areas really kind of made me start thinking the whole thing through again. I am defiantely less concerned about it than last time - but i still wanted to make a point that i won't accept anything other than the highest standard of care and that i am on the ball. My biggest issue was being left too long. With the VBAC i have an 80% chance of normal delivery and that is great- but if i go over,  i can't be induced in the same way and my chances would go right down to around 40% - so they have booked me in for planned section 12 days post due date. That in itself is just a weight off - i know they won't leave me to it. As last time, i am sure that being booked in really helped me destress and chill out - and thus went into labour naturally on my due date.
They also have said they will see me again at 36 weeks to check positions and possibly another scan if required, 39 weeks to sweep, 40 to sweep if i havent begun on my own and want it, and again at 41.
They were so positive though that i won't need that - and that my body will know what it is doing, that helped.
Also told me about a class they are running about active birth which really is aimed for VBAC - again all of that is fab and I feel supported, and thus empowered. I think asking the right questions i definately helping - but it helps to know i am listened to and taken seriously - so used to it being the other way round.

So i say - Bring on labour.. or something like that...........

Quick one - hypnobirthing and other things...

In trying to consider the upcoming preg and labour, I am planning on hypnobirthing. Obviously I am in nottinghamshire so need to find out what I can locally.
Any recommendations for cds are also really welcome.

I plan to revamp my blog a little bit as it seems to have become more personal a blog as well as focussing on the yoga and reiki - but actually family, yoga and reiki are so intertwined, it kind of all relates and i hope the revamped blog will simply show how positive all are within my life and on each other.

I have had several amazing treatments recently and also some lovely yoga mornings - all of which have currently got me in a blissful bubble of energy, feeling very blessed for the lovely people around me.

Hari Om

Our good news

..is that we had the scan yesterday and I am 14 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby.

We were thinking that by dates I was 13 weeks - but I was pretty sure I was 14 because I knew from word go when we had conceived because of my dates. I suppose dating wise they suppose you may have conceived at the middle of your cycle but I knew we were 8 days in so effectively 6 days before the average would be worked out. So it brought our date to the 20th September -which is fine as I still have time to be early and keep baby in September.

I was always under the impression that 2nd babies were less exciting because well that is what everyone says- less time, focus on the first one etc - up until now I could not believe that it would be OK because I kind of felt guilt - guilt that it happened so quick for us, and that I knew some of my friends were going through tough times in order to conceive. And so I wanted to wait until the scan to really believe - though the way my tummy has grown, made it obvious there was either a cake or a baby in it ;)

I was convinced that I wasn't going to look until she had done the checks ( we didn't have the downs screening) but as soon as i could see a happy heart beat and all bits in place for this stage -I just was glued to the screen, with silent tears on my cheeks- I kept it to myself because I knew if I really started crying I would not stop. But I really think both of us seemed more excited this time than last. Maybe because we knew what we were looking at more clearly - and that actually realising that we really are on that journey again and that whatever it brings, we can do it together. 

I had to see the consultant due to my em csec last time but actually I am really quite relieved to be in that position. He is a really lovely man, listened so well to my questions, took me seriously, gave me answers and options. I found I had put on lots of weight really quickly and had been far more tired - turns out my thyroid levels had gone right down - they were fine last time - but he has upped the dose a little so am hoping that really makes a difference- it makes so much sense with so many things i was experiencing in early pregnancy ( and i why i also started feeling better at what I thought was 11 weeks - was in fact 12!!

But back to the consultant - he just really supported what I wanted, told me much of what the gp had told me and that if i want it - tell them i want it. said their best practice suggests certain things but I don't HAVE to do things if i don't want to as it doesn't work for all. Ideally they would have me monitored from 4cm but if i feel i want to wait til 5 then i can, if i want to labour on the floor I can, if I want a bath, I can and all the other little queries I had - well, all answered and taken seriously.

I lay awake last night feeling really safe and having a small cry to myself. I am more excited now than I ever was with number 1. and believe me I was excited about her - but i think now the fear is gone because i know what to expect. I thought that would make it worse. But i feel calm, and in control far more. I know it is still a long road ahead but That in 6 months ish I will be holding a little baby -  be it pink or blue - and be looking forward to finding out how much extra love it will bring to the 3 of us.

our number one has been the most amazing child to parent. We have wound our way through cloth nappies, slinging, and a million things between to find what works for us. I know all children are different but I am sure that while it will be different, that is for the best - that we have weathered some massive changes - but we worked together. It has taught me the ultimate in flexibility makes life easiest. Certain expectations are mandatory in terms of behaviour but apart from that - she is who she is - happy, confident, able- because we did our best bringing her up.

I have an incredible husband who has helped me through the thickest and thinnest of times - but i know he will be amazing during labour, and tiny babyhood - and continues to be so. He already has been in my early pregnancy too and if we carry on learning together, it will keep working. Not to say we don't do our fair share of ranting and raving - but we always get there in the end.

Once again I can't say that reiki had anything to do with this for sure - but i am pretty sure it did no harm - all the years i have now had treatments, and the last 18 months of working with the energy have helped me read my own body, recognise the changes and feel when somehow I was just ready. Again - yoga has helped.

I used some mantras my lovely yoga teachers told me - which I could just feel the entire shift, the loss of any potential blockage and a new balance from the appropriate postures. I felt really bleugh after christmas day so I took myself for an hour of practice and went through everything i needed to feel balanced again. The next day we began, then i ovulated, and on that 3rd day i woke up and immediately felt the change in my body. ON the 4th day I did another yoga practise and it felt totally different, i can't explain - it just felt totally rebalanced, well balanced but somehow shiftted- awareness of the sensations in my abdomen that simply weren't there prior to that. Amazing. I love working with these energies.

Hari Om

Another reiki treatment

Totally forgot to add that as well as a lovely reiki share at the end of Feb, I also had a full treatment for myself yesterday and it was pure bliss .Sometimes we talk during the treatment, but this time I just went off in cloud land about half way through and it was heaven. I felt so completley relaxed. usually i go through states of feeling myself relax another notch but i had no more to let go of and it was brilliant. I don't know where the time went but i was full of light by the time we finished.
I may actually be turning into a reiki junky.

I took it easy yesterday for several hours before doing some jobs and last night I had a perfect 8 hours but as soon as my head touched that pillow, i was asleep and nothing disturbed me and The difference of undisturbed sleep is something perfect indeed.

Looking forward

... to a beautiful holiday with my fabulous husband, hilarious daughter and my loving, giving parents. Taking ourselves off for our regular 5 days at centre parcs. SUch a bargain at this time of year and I can't wait.
I have just realised I have doubled booked myself for yoga and tai chi so need to decide what to do. Really keen to try yoga with a different teacher. I love my teachers to bits and their yoga ( Satyananda) is the absolute right mix of awareness building through meditation, breathing, and asanas. But i think that everytime I have tried yoga with a different instructor, it has made me appreciate their mindful approach even more.
Not that there is anything wrong with other ways and it is great to get a variation, but it just shows me that it really is where I am meant to be.
I could ofcourse do my own practise - which i will anyway- but somehow tai chi isn't feeling right this time, though we did it last time. It is a shame though as I enjoyed doing it with my daddy last time.

We are also heading back into nottingham on thursday as it is the St patrick's day parade and celebrations - so that should be full of fun and games , as it is every year. It will be great to take mum and dad too, Dad especially will enjoy the craic. hannah enjoyed it last year - but I think this year she will be jigging even more _i have her some face paints and finally located my dublin flag so she can give that a wave.

And hopefully as of tuesday 22nd, I will have some more exciting news and plans for the future.
FIngers crossed it all comes together.

Well
Ironing and packing to be done!!!

Time flies

...when you're grieving.

My Beautiful Cousin, Cathy, passed away peacefully on the 19th feb.
To be quite honest, as sad as it is, it felt like she had fought so hard that it was a relief for her to let go. Obviously not for her family and friends.

It sounds like her funeral was amazing and so many people came to support them and to remember her.
it obviously is the really early days for them all. I spoke to my uncle and aunt ( was shocked to discover it cost med £30 for an hour call but figure it is cheaper than the flights over there i guess) and found out more that I hadn;t know - that as well as being married to Ewen who is a pretty huge comedian and public personality there, she was as involved in the charity side of things - the way she was received kind of reminded me of princess di - that she really cared about others and supported them when they needed it - which is certainly something we really experienced of her. I also spoke to Ewen and then tried her sister too but they were out and as yet have not managed to reach her.

news report 

I feel pretty numb in a way as for me i suppose normal life can kind of just carry on with no real interruption but the knowing what she went through and that I just won't be able to speak to her, email her or share anything with her again is so sad. she was only 36 and had so much to give - but maybe she lived her life so well that she had acheived what was planned, even though it was awful that she couldn't stay.
As my sister's anniversary is the 15th feb - i think i might just avoid february from now on and wake up in march....

RIP beautiful Cathy.

Still here ...

..just hanging around really.
Spent the weekend with my parents as It was the 4th anniversary of my sister's death today.
found that really hard to deal with - harder this year than before .That maybe hormonal though I suspect it is largely to do with the fact that I feel like she wasted her life and opportunities.
Cathy would probably right now be doing anything she could do be alive, to see her nephews grow up - My cousin is 13 weeks preg with her 4th and I should imagine that in a few short weeks Cathy will no longer be here and will never get to see him/ her.
Also that my friend's brother in law passed away after fighting lymphoma for 3 years - Leaving his wife, 16 year old and 21 year old. I bet he would have given anything to see them grow up, graduate, get married and be happy - and to do that all along side his wife. His eldest directed a play at the uni of oxford - big stuff really given he was a director and directed a lot of major stuff - he made it up there to see it despite being so ill- THAT is fighting spirit.

So anyway.
All for today.
Just make the absolute most of everyone and every minute - even the difficult ones.

Reiki baby cuddles

Lovely visits from little reiki Dylan and his lovely mummy today which was just what I was needing.
He is so lovely and gorgeous and I had such a lovely cuddle with him. Hannah enjoyed him using her changing mat, and sharing his mummy for stories while I had a lovely cuddle - but she was less happy about the crying lol. She better get used to that for future references lol.
I realised that I never actually had chance to blog about meeting him, this being the 3rd occasion.
It was really quite amazing - even when he was six days old he was a chilled out little soul and I felt like i had had a full on reiki treatment after a good hour or so of cuddles. It was so lovely and very emotional too - he really is such a little miracle - a year ago it seemed so impossible that they would get chance - at least not without an attempt at ivf, followed by a suspected ectopic pregnancy - that turned out to be this little gem of a baby.
I also went up just after christmas and took Hannah - she loved seeing him and wanted a cuddle and once again it just felt like being in the prescence of a miracle.

I was thinking today that I could do with a special photo frame for my bubs, for my godbub and for Dylan, the reiki bub. I do think that he is a miracle in himself just by pure fact of all life being a total miracle- but also that he has been sent for a real reason, even bigger than his mummy and daddy being great people who deserved the chance to bring up a child together.
More so because it was so flukey how we got in touch.
Randomly through a discussion on facebook with a friend of mine ( who was infact a friend of Steph's and whom i only got back intouch with after the funeral), miracle-mummy had been asking about reiki - I typed out a reply and as I finished it, I received a private message asking if I could possibly tell her more.. so already done ! I was assuming she lived locally to my friend, a long way from here - which was a shame as I would have loved to give her a treatment - as it happened she actually lived half an hour away from me!!!!  and never the twain shall meet.. as it also happened I was friends with one of her good friends and we had spent nearly every weekend in the same club probably standing next to the bar - and she was the one who told my sister some "interesting" news about an ex back in the day. Way too many scary connections.

It feels so much like a blessing sent from Heaven, the universe, or wherever - that it was meant to be somehow and that we were supposed to connect. Well we already had connections but needed to put the final plug in from the feel of it. namely she needed the reiki - and I needed to connect her up to it and act as the channel. I am not THE reiki itself. I do not "do" the reiki giving, that simply comes from the universe.

So many things came from that connection too.
The day after I gave her the first treatment, I was on my way back from yoga and started planning that I was going to do my nerxt reiki course, that i was going to do my yoga course and that i was going to set up a little business for myself.
And low and behold by the end of the week, I was booked on Reiki 2 course, I had a name, had talked to the right people and was booked on the most amazing yoga course that still had a space - had found myself a lovely mentor who let me come to her classes - and on the night she gave me the info about the yoga also randomly mentioned she had a treatment table she wanted to get rid of..... I got home from yoga on that thursday evening and was somewhat hysterical feeling like I had been given such a massive thumbs up from the universe. It was an amazing but slightly scary feeling - to think if you ask and you look, then you DO get the signs.
It's all snowballed from here and less than a year later I have taught a good deal of yoga and given some amazing treatments - most amazingly the (first) reiki baby is live and kicking and in the world.. and will hopefully sleep well for his mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also found a lovely friend too which has been even better and unexpected a bonus.


Thank you, Universe....

Awesome reiki treatment

I had a fab treatment last Monday with my wonderful Reiki Master - mistress- June. I woke up on the tuesday morning feeling like i had slept so well and wishing I could afford more regular treatments. I love it so much.
Anyway - I got in on the tuesday after being out with Hannah and had a message on my phone. It was from a lady who is doing her level 2 reiki - she needed to do some treatments on people who already have Level 2- so she basically offered to come over and do a free treatment. I was little dubious at the start - but she had got my details from the Feration website - i put them there so that i could be open to give people treatments. I never expected to have one offered to me!
She came over lastnight and it was wonderful - just what i needed and once again I totally slept really deeply for 9 hours and almost feel human today.
I love the way reiki goes on and on doing amazing things. You send it out there and all sorts of wonderful things can come from it.
I had a message from my yoga teacher to say a friends's baby was being rushed to hospital with heart problems, being new born. Just over a week later, following many reiki sends from lots of people, the baby boy has gone home, all well. It may have happened anyway - but somehow it feels like it helps something!!!!


What hopefully has come from this lady contacting me is that she will get to join our reiki shares, and we can have 1-1 reiki treatment swaps which of course does everyone good - if the NHS want to save themselves money - prescribing regular reiki treatments rather than drugs would probably do the whole world a lot of good.
If people were having reiki treatments they would be come more physically and healthily balanced hopefully, they might have a mind set change also and that can work positive wonders on the direction they choose to take their life. I also found it really made me aware of others and how i relate to them. If more people were aware of how they treated others, were less angry, more grateful and more willing to treat others with themselves but also ensuring they were looking after themselves without hurting others, then the world would be way happier.



Hari Om

lovely lovely yoga sessions

Taught my little yogis today.
had 14 of them and a mummy who had brought her 2 yr 7 month old for the first time to try out.

they worked so hard today and i felt really energised, albeit rather sweaty lol.

Last night I attended my usual yoga session with one of my super satyananda yoga teachers. Spectacular as ever, and what is lovely at the moment is the class is ram packed so there is a great energy - so they better not think about cutting the class- it was quiet over december - but then again it was hideous weather and people are ill  and busy at that time of the year... fingers crossed it stays around for as long as possible. it is pure bliss

Much needed yoga sessions - finally bit the bullet and paid off the stupid pension rubbish - they have been completley unsupportive as have nottingham city council and to be quiet honest, the nut rep wasn't much more help as she was never in thh office and always off sick or on holiday. I hate that they have managed to make it feel like my fault, that i made the balls up and that i have to suffer by making a massive payment as well as receiving nasty letters from them. but at least now it is paid hopefully the only thing i will get in the post is confirmation is payment and a letter of apology about hte appauling letters I had and the fact they made the balls up.
Hopefully now I can be onwards and upwards and forget the last year of hell and stress and worry.
and welcome in a new one worrying about other things instead lol

My turn to smile

.........through the tears anyway.

Got the beautiful book of art today from my cousin.
It was so special but so sad.
her art so reflects the amazing person she was for so long - bold, beautiful, colourful and full of life.

It seems so so sad - and i was reminded even more of that seeing the photos at the back of the book.

I felt so sad when i got the book though blessed for receiving such a special memory to keep and treasure. Hannah loved looking at it too.