Next stages...

.. and time moves on!!!!

Already bumpy has reached the twenty week scan - and we took our little miss with us to see it - she was fascinated with what baby is doing in my tummy, and keeps trying to peer in my belly button.

All is growing well as far as we can see which is good news - and the scan seemed to be really detailed - compared to with hannah - she explained what we were looking at and we felt like we were in there for ages. It certainly gave us all a good time to see baby - who is now nicknamed wavy because of this picture.

I also started the antetnatal yoga again with The Yoga Home. I was fortunate enough to discover Ameet and Hannah during my last pregnancy, and in the last three years have followed every course they offer at appropriate times, as well as also attending classes with Ameet at my local leisure centre - something that was pure fluke but obviously meant to be. I am carrying on with the leisure centre ones - but the preg classes are something special  - really focusing on the bond with the baby inside my bump, and getting my body in shape for birth. Again, having done it all before - i can really tell how each asana is helping each relevent part of my body and my mind too - also a welcome break from tiny toddler.

We have also signed up for the Mindful Mamma - hypnobirthing class in June.I had several people lend me their cds. One i had to turn off half way through as it just felt wrong due to the way the lady was saying baby..... eek never again. I had already seen the mindful mamma flyers around while I was expecting Hannah - but as we had already paid for NCT and the yoga birthing class, we felt there was only so much we could do. Fortunately a friend also loaned me their cd and the first time i listened i knew my instincts on this to be right so am looking forward to not only listening to cds - but getting to spend the time in depth, and to be able to ask the all important questions - the biggest one being - How do i put it into practise when also dealing with contractions! - am sure all will become clear.

I also need to research some good "beach music" - the idea of breathing in time to the sound of breaking waves sits very well - so as well as using the cd could do with some tips - so now on a hunt for a really good one. First stop- my reiki master!!!

We had more consultations with an obstetrician and I was able to ask all the questions i wanted to know. My biggest concerns through both pregnancies were still birth. I know nobody ever wants to go through that, but i just feel that my family and especially us, need no more bad stuff to happen unless it is out of anyone's control - knowing that the UK has a stupidly high rate for such a rich country and that the eastmidlands is one of the worst areas really kind of made me start thinking the whole thing through again. I am defiantely less concerned about it than last time - but i still wanted to make a point that i won't accept anything other than the highest standard of care and that i am on the ball. My biggest issue was being left too long. With the VBAC i have an 80% chance of normal delivery and that is great- but if i go over,  i can't be induced in the same way and my chances would go right down to around 40% - so they have booked me in for planned section 12 days post due date. That in itself is just a weight off - i know they won't leave me to it. As last time, i am sure that being booked in really helped me destress and chill out - and thus went into labour naturally on my due date.
They also have said they will see me again at 36 weeks to check positions and possibly another scan if required, 39 weeks to sweep, 40 to sweep if i havent begun on my own and want it, and again at 41.
They were so positive though that i won't need that - and that my body will know what it is doing, that helped.
Also told me about a class they are running about active birth which really is aimed for VBAC - again all of that is fab and I feel supported, and thus empowered. I think asking the right questions i definately helping - but it helps to know i am listened to and taken seriously - so used to it being the other way round.

So i say - Bring on labour.. or something like that...........

Our good news

..is that we had the scan yesterday and I am 14 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby.

We were thinking that by dates I was 13 weeks - but I was pretty sure I was 14 because I knew from word go when we had conceived because of my dates. I suppose dating wise they suppose you may have conceived at the middle of your cycle but I knew we were 8 days in so effectively 6 days before the average would be worked out. So it brought our date to the 20th September -which is fine as I still have time to be early and keep baby in September.

I was always under the impression that 2nd babies were less exciting because well that is what everyone says- less time, focus on the first one etc - up until now I could not believe that it would be OK because I kind of felt guilt - guilt that it happened so quick for us, and that I knew some of my friends were going through tough times in order to conceive. And so I wanted to wait until the scan to really believe - though the way my tummy has grown, made it obvious there was either a cake or a baby in it ;)

I was convinced that I wasn't going to look until she had done the checks ( we didn't have the downs screening) but as soon as i could see a happy heart beat and all bits in place for this stage -I just was glued to the screen, with silent tears on my cheeks- I kept it to myself because I knew if I really started crying I would not stop. But I really think both of us seemed more excited this time than last. Maybe because we knew what we were looking at more clearly - and that actually realising that we really are on that journey again and that whatever it brings, we can do it together. 

I had to see the consultant due to my em csec last time but actually I am really quite relieved to be in that position. He is a really lovely man, listened so well to my questions, took me seriously, gave me answers and options. I found I had put on lots of weight really quickly and had been far more tired - turns out my thyroid levels had gone right down - they were fine last time - but he has upped the dose a little so am hoping that really makes a difference- it makes so much sense with so many things i was experiencing in early pregnancy ( and i why i also started feeling better at what I thought was 11 weeks - was in fact 12!!

But back to the consultant - he just really supported what I wanted, told me much of what the gp had told me and that if i want it - tell them i want it. said their best practice suggests certain things but I don't HAVE to do things if i don't want to as it doesn't work for all. Ideally they would have me monitored from 4cm but if i feel i want to wait til 5 then i can, if i want to labour on the floor I can, if I want a bath, I can and all the other little queries I had - well, all answered and taken seriously.

I lay awake last night feeling really safe and having a small cry to myself. I am more excited now than I ever was with number 1. and believe me I was excited about her - but i think now the fear is gone because i know what to expect. I thought that would make it worse. But i feel calm, and in control far more. I know it is still a long road ahead but That in 6 months ish I will be holding a little baby -  be it pink or blue - and be looking forward to finding out how much extra love it will bring to the 3 of us.

our number one has been the most amazing child to parent. We have wound our way through cloth nappies, slinging, and a million things between to find what works for us. I know all children are different but I am sure that while it will be different, that is for the best - that we have weathered some massive changes - but we worked together. It has taught me the ultimate in flexibility makes life easiest. Certain expectations are mandatory in terms of behaviour but apart from that - she is who she is - happy, confident, able- because we did our best bringing her up.

I have an incredible husband who has helped me through the thickest and thinnest of times - but i know he will be amazing during labour, and tiny babyhood - and continues to be so. He already has been in my early pregnancy too and if we carry on learning together, it will keep working. Not to say we don't do our fair share of ranting and raving - but we always get there in the end.

Once again I can't say that reiki had anything to do with this for sure - but i am pretty sure it did no harm - all the years i have now had treatments, and the last 18 months of working with the energy have helped me read my own body, recognise the changes and feel when somehow I was just ready. Again - yoga has helped.

I used some mantras my lovely yoga teachers told me - which I could just feel the entire shift, the loss of any potential blockage and a new balance from the appropriate postures. I felt really bleugh after christmas day so I took myself for an hour of practice and went through everything i needed to feel balanced again. The next day we began, then i ovulated, and on that 3rd day i woke up and immediately felt the change in my body. ON the 4th day I did another yoga practise and it felt totally different, i can't explain - it just felt totally rebalanced, well balanced but somehow shiftted- awareness of the sensations in my abdomen that simply weren't there prior to that. Amazing. I love working with these energies.

Hari Om