trying really hard ..

to be calm and positive..
not actually working.

have had this funny rib for ages since i had hannah. feels a bit lumpy in there too.
last monday the doctor wanted to get me a ultra sound scan to see what it was but was confident it was normal fatty tissue or a floating rib. I had to wait one working day for the info to get there.
Then when i rang i was told i had to wait up to 6 weeks - which i told them was not going to happen and tghey said there were some cancellation appointments up to today.
then he said that i then had to wait 24 hours to speak to someone to check i was refered to the right thing.
i happened to ring back in the evening and they had sent it back to gp who were open til half 6 - i rang them and i knew nothing and they had no info - spoke to a good gp who is a practise partner and seemed really thorough.
when they eventually got it back they said that apparently they dont scan that area only the abdomen - even though it is the abdomen......
so he got me in had a seriously good prod and poke and was really confident it was fine and should not delay baby making process - but that i would need an xray and a blood test, the blood test i had on monday.
went in for x ray yesterday  - done and dusted by 9.20 but would have to wait til after christmas to get results.

today i was out and someone rang without leaving a message - said that they couldnt leave a message but it was nothing urgent...... except i never get results back if they are fine - and suddenly i get phone call and they can't leave a mesage- only a day after an x ray and two after a boood tesst which to me doesn't sound too great.
all well and good being positive but when i am used to waiting ages, suddenly getting a phone call mysteriously isn't that great.
now can't get through - lunch hour apparently- but been like that an hour and a half and now going through to nems.......
i just want to know.
am really cross with dave if he had told me straight away then i could have rung before one.
and if he hadn't tol them my phone was off they may have rung me - it wasn't off either.

i just sit here waiting to find out and terrified.
doesnt help that mum and dad are not coming up tomorrow because dad is ill - probably wont be here for christmas.